Goodbye
by housecrazed1
Summary: His bubble was slowly dissapearing. Everything was different now. And he hated it. a dark ryan centric piece


Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with the OC

I was kind of in the mood for something more angsty and dark and right now I couldn't think of an idea for my other story so I decided to do a one shot. If people think its okay then I might write a second part in the point of view of Seth, Kirsten, or Sandy. I think it's pretty obvious who is narrating this story. So anyways read on. Oh and don't forget to review! Thanks

I can't take this anymore. I've finally reached my limit. Some people think I'm strong and nothing can break me. But I know better. I get into fights with Seth all the time now. Nothing is the same. Marissa is following the same path my mom took before she died last year. I couldn't handle taking care of her anymore so I broke up with her. She had a fit and ended up once again overdosing on pills. This time it was sleeping pills. I expect her excuse this time to be she just wanted to sleep. She had to be rushed to the hospital and Julie finally realized there was something wrong with her daughter and decided to send her to a rehabilitation clinic outside of Newport. Julie moved with her as well for support. Summer soon followed, deciding she had to move on with her life and get out of the Newport bubble. Seth was devastated and guess who was expected to listen to his whining? That's right, me. So eventually I snapped and told him to keep it to himself. Nothing between us has been the same since. The walls I had brought down were slowly starting to go up again as my protective bubble got smaller and smaller. Pretty soon it would be non-existent. I didn't know whether or not to be happy about that or not. I had no one to talk to so my mind was clouded with all my thoughts just circling around and around all day, every day.

When I first moved to Newport I loved this lifestyle. I loved all the luxuries that were handed to me. I had a break from my life. I didn't have to work as hard to get what I wanted. Hell, all I had to do was say I wanted something and it was in my hands before the day was over. But its novelty wore off after awhile. Just like I knew it would. The things I got soon seemed pointless. I got tired of being handed things all the time. I was being smothered by this seemingly perfect life. On the outside I knew I was supposed to be grateful so I acted as if I was loving it. But on the inside I was screaming to get away. I hated it. I couldn't stand it. This was hell for me. Sandy and Kirsten were no longer a stable couple. They were always arguing. Almost as much as Seth and I.

When I thought about it I realized that all this chaos had started only after I had arrived. There lives had been perfect before I had shown up and ruined it for them. I had destroyed the Cohen's family. I had led Marissa to a lifetime of drugs and self destruction. I basically drove the last of the Cooper's out of Newport entirely. I had ruined their perfect Newport bubble and they all hated me for it. _I_ hated myself for it. This is why I needed to go. I couldn't keep destroying other people's lives. If I wanted to ruin my own that was my prerogative. But I had no right to do the same to others. Seth wouldn't miss me. Kirsten and Sandy hardly acknowledged me anyway. I'd be surprised if they even noticed I was gone. To think, what I had once thought to be the thing to save my life, it actually turned out to be the thing that was making me take it away.

Placing the note I had written on the kitchen table so nobody would miss it I walked back towards the pool house. If I had known that Seth had been on his way downstairs to apologize for giving me the cold shoulder I might have changed my mind about what I was about to do. If I had known that the only reason Kirsten and Sandy were fighting was because they were stressed about the going away to university party they'd be throwing for Seth and I, I _know _I wouldn't have done what I did. But I didn't know. And so I did what I had set out to do.

I pulled the handgun out from my bedside table and lifted it to my head. For one last time I looked out the windows of the pool house, what had become my sanctuary for the past 3 years, and saw Seth walking out. We locked eyes and for a second neither of us did anything. I was doing this for him, I told myself. Don't stop now. This is for the best. And with that I held my hand up in one last wave and mouthed I'm sorry to him. He started to run towards me but I was already nothing but a dead body on the floor of the pool house.

Kind of dark I know. But I was in a dark sort of mood. Lol. Please review!

Thanks.


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